Gratitude When Others Are “Winning”…and We Aren’t

As adults, we know how bad it can feel when it seems like everyone else is winning or thriving, and we just…aren’t. This is hard for our kids, too. They might see other kids get awards and recognition, when they don’t; they might try hard at a sport but still not be very good; or they might have a general feeling that things just seem to go better or easier for other people. We’ve probably all experienced times like this, and we know how discouraging it can feel.

So, parents, how do we help our kids through this, and how can we possibly find gratitude through it? As I wrote in another post, I think it is so important for us to help our kids find what their natural talents are. They can get easily discouraged if they keep trying things that just aren’t in their skill set. If they still enjoy and want to keep participating in that thing, that’s a different story. But they need to know that it’s okay to move on to something else if they aren’t doing very well in it.

As for gratitude during these times of discouragement or frustration, I think we can help our kids with some of these reminders:

1. “People are good at different things. Let’s name some of the things that you’re good at.”

2. “Isn’t it great that we have opportunities to try different things until we find something we really enjoy? Is there something else you’d like to try?”

3. “Even though this has been difficult, I bet we can name a few good things that have come from it. What have you learned, seen, or experienced that has been good?”

4. “Did you give it your best? Then you can be very proud of that!”

We don’t have to pretend that everything is fine for our kids when it actually isn’t, but we CAN help them look for the good and still find gratitude in their circumstances. And it’s a discipline they can carry with them into adulthood. (Hopefully, we’ve done the same.)