The Good, the Bad, and the Fruity: What’s Growing from Your Marriage?

Loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, self-controlled…

Would you describe yourself using any of these words?

Would your spouse describe you using any of these words? 

No doubt you recognize these words as being the fruit of the Spirit as described in Galatians 5. Is this fruit evident in your life – particularly in your home and marriage? This environment is where we tend to be the most comfortable and where we tend to be the most free with our words and actions. We might not always be proud of our behavior at home, but it might be the most realistic picture of who we are. 

How does this picture measure up to the image you would like to have, both at home and outside the home? Are you running low on fruit of the Spirit? In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit” (Matthew 7:18, NASB). That’s pretty straightforward. On a tree, fruit grows on the outside; it’s not hidden away inside the trunk or beneath its roots. Its fruit is evident… Our fruit is evident… And it shows itself through our thoughts, words, and actions. 

Paul said that “the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these” (Galatians 5:19-21, NASB). This is obviously bad fruit. 

If the list of the deeds of the flesh sounds more like us than the list of the fruit of the Spirit, it is time to examine our lives – “the trees” themselves. Galatians 5:16-18 says, “… walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. ” (NASB). If the Spirit is not part of the process, the tree will not produce good fruit. 

In examining “the tree,” here are some questions we need to ask ourselves:

1. Am I walking by the Spirit, or am I carrying out whatever my flesh desires?
2. Am I living in ways that signify that I am being led by the Spirit?
3. What does the fruit I am producing indicate about myself (“the tree”)?

Want to get really vulnerable? Now ask your spouse to answer those questions about you. (Note: Your reactions to their answers will also be an indicator of the type of fruit you are producing.) 

Now take things a step further and ask this question: What kind of fruit is being produced through us as a married couple? If you aren’t sure how to measure this, here are some indicators that you are producing good fruit – fruit of the Spirit – in your marriage… [Click here to read the full article on Family Christian.]