It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year…for Teachable Moments

The holiday season is upon us, and although some things will probably be different this year (Thanks, 2020.), there will still be plenty of hustle and bustle to manage for ourselves and our families. But what if we did more than just manage? What if we used this season to develop new habits and priorities for our families, making new connections between the holiday experiences and the bigger things in life? What if we intentionally looked for teachable moments? 

Opportunities for teaching seem to be in particular abundance during the holiday season. They will look different for each family, but here are some ideas for all of us to consider.

Simplify Schedules

There’s usually no shortage of holiday events to attend, but let’s determine what is actually good and wise for our family’s schedules and say no to the rest. We can ask our kids what they think should be included on the family calendar and ask them to explain why or why not. Now, when our son says that he thinks he shouldn’t attend his sister’s ballet recital, we can use the opportunity to talk about how we support one another by being present for them. And there might be a required event that no one in the family really gets excited about, but we can talk about the fact that this is just part of life, and we can choose to grumble about it or choose to find ways to make the most of it. When we include our kids in the decision-making process of scheduling, we are teaching them skills in prioritizing, time management, and compromise. And when we simplify and slow down as much as possible, we can encourage our families to take the time to notice and actually enjoy what makes this time of year so special! Let’s take in the beauty, the fun, the excitement, the imagination, the colors and lights, the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells, and then share with each other what we notice.

Address Expectations

So many expectations swirl around us during this season, and many of them we have placed on ourselves. The holidays are supposed to be magical, joyful, and peaceful, but reality can sometimes be the opposite. When this happens, we can use the opportunity to talk with our kids about how to deal with disappointment when things don’t go the way we had hoped they would. Maybe they didn’t receive a gift they really wanted, maybe they forgot their line in the school play, or maybe an annual tradition just can’t happen this year. We can use instances such as these to help our kids learn to acknowledge (but not dwell in) disappointment, to avoid comparing themselves to others, or even to identify potentially unrealistic expectations. And we know that our kids aren’t the only ones who experience disappointment during the holiday season. We need to be aware of what we are teaching them by how we ourselves respond to disappointment (because they are definitely watching us).

Be Aware of Those in Need

Filling a shoebox, adopting an “angel,” putting money in a red kettle, donating canned goods, or even serving in a soup kitchen are all wonderful ways to help ourselves and our kids to be aware of people in need. But let’s not stop there. Let’s not make it something we only do around the holidays, and let’s not do “just enough.” Let’s find what really stirs our kids’ hearts and let them take some leadership in raising money, collecting food, gathering clothing items, etc. Motivate generosity in them by challenging them to give away something that they really like or to spend their money on someone else instead of themselves. Many long-lasting lessons can be learned through making personal sacrifices. Let’s not flippantly fling money at causes this season; instead, let’s discuss how and why we are giving and do it together with our kids. Even better, let’s make a plan with our family for ways that we can continue to give generously to those in need throughout the entire year. 

Inspire Gratitude

Though it seems obvious that gratitude is a value that can be easily taught throughout this season, there are some not-so-obvious ways to bring it out. Of course, we teach our kids to say “Thank you” when they are given gifts, but do we also inspire them to show gratitude for what they already have? As we lead by example, let’s inspire our kids to be thankful for the meals we eat, the homes we live in, the clothes and shoes we wear, the vehicles we drive, and our daily needs that are continually met. All of these are gifts! And when we are given additional gifts during the holidays simply for our enjoyment, let’s remind ourselves and our kids that this is like extra icing on the cake…Let’s enjoy every bit of it while also expressing gratitude for it. Let’s also remember that gratitude is one of the best ways to combat disappointment, comparison, and entitlement.

The greatest gifts we can give our children this season are the intangible gifts of teachable moments. These are the ones that will build their awareness and shape their character. Let’s take advantage of the opportunities!