Drifting in Marriage? Find Your Anchors.

Have you ever had an entire argument with your spouse that they didn’t even know about because you had the whole thing in your own head? Or made up a scenario about “what probably happened” in a particular situation before you’ve even had a chance to hear about it? I know I have. My imagination can get the better of me if I’m not careful. I can easily fill in the silent gaps with projections and assumptions. I can form an opinion on behalf of my husband and put words in his mouth. It is unfair of me… and is usually inaccurate.

One of the greatest tools we have in marriage is the mind. As with most tools, it can be used either for good or for harm. And when we make assumptions or make up scenarios without knowing the truth, we are using our mind as a weapon against our marriage.

Why was he late? Why didn’t he respond to my text? Why didn’t he notice ________? What did he mean by ________? 

Thoughts like these are coated in fear and distrust. Now, if there are legitimate reasons for concern, that’s a different story. But if our wandering thoughts are not based on truth, we need to heed Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says, “… we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” We must grab each wandering thought and hold it up to truth. This discipline of the mind can make a huge difference in our marriages. Instead of assuming negative things about our spouses, we should let our starting point be to trust what we know to be true. 

Philippians 4:8 further challenges us in the discipline of our minds by saying, “… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” In other words, our minds must be trained to stay away from what is false or impure and should instead hold fast to what is true, good, and right. And in our marriages, this discipline of the mind can help keep us anchored when we are amidst the waves of life. Here are some specific ways that we can do this… [Click here to read the full article on Family Christian.]