Facing a New ChalleNGe
Sometimes we have to do really hard things in parenting. Sometimes we have to give up control. Sometimes we have to recognize that we don’t have all the tools we need to help our children in certain situations, and we have to ask for help from others. Sometimes we have to “give our children over” to someone or something else for a season. And this can be really, really hard.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I took our youngest son to the Mississippi Youth ChalleNGe Academy, where he will spend the next five months. This is a program through the Mississippi National Guard (thus, the capital NG in ChalleNGe) that works with at-risk teens to equip them with education, life skills, values, and self-discipline necessary for them to become productive citizens. It is a voluntary program, but it’s not an easy one. There is much structure and a full schedule, and it’s not called “ChalleNGe” for no reason. There are numerous physical and mental challenges every day. It’s not a full military experience, but it gives these teens a good taste of it. And since our son has expressed interest in a career in the military, we felt like this would be a good program for him.
But have you ever had to drop your child off to a place you’ve never been and with people you’ve never met? To leave him there for a few months? And not be able to hear from him at all for the first two weeks?? This was very unfamiliar territory for this mama. Not to mention how strange the whole intake process was… The candidates had to show up wearing plain gray sweats, bring only a few belongings with them in a trash bag, and would be getting their heads shaved just as soon as the parents went home.
NONE of this was familiar or comfortable for me. But we truly believed that this was the next right step for our son, and so we did what we needed to do.
Even when we are doing what we believe is right for our children, though, it can be super tough. Some things require bigger steps of faith and/or the loosening of our grips of [perceived] control. And some things require our children to have to rise to the occasion, so to speak.
Well, we are three weeks into this ChalleNGe, and I have to say that I’m so glad that we–and he–rose to the occasion. As his family, we sent him off with loads of encouragement and prayer and words of hope and affirmation. Plus we sent him lots of letters, so that he could hear from us even when we couldn’t hear back from him. But then when we did hear from him, he sounded so good! He was doing what he needed to do and was meeting the challenges put before him. He was even awarded Cadet of the Week for physical training in his platoon! He was successfully doing some hard things that gave him confidence, and that felt good.
Parents, sometimes we just have to do really, really hard things. And sometimes our children have to do really hard things. But the results will be worth it. I know we are only three weeks into this particular scenario in our family, but so far, I think we’d all agree that it’s been worth it. I’m not saying that I don’t still worry about my son or wonder if this really was the right thing to do. And things could certainly still go badly. But for now, it is looking good, and we are thankful for this opportunity.
What about you? What are some hard things you have had to do as a parent? How did you and your children grow through it?
