Goal-Setting: Make It a Family Experience

It’s that time of year again! Without fail, millions of people around the world (myself included) choose the month of January–the beginning of a new year–to set goals for ourselves. We vow to lose weight, manage our time better, watch less TV, exercise 12 times a week, end global warming, etc. etc. 

Unfortunately, many of these goals are left unmet, and we often feel guilty because of our lack of discipline or “stickwithitness.” This year, instead of giving up on the ol’ tradition of writing New Year’s resolutions (or just resolving not to resolve anything), why not set some smaller, more realistic objectives for the year?  And while you’re at it, make an effort to include your spouse and children in setting goals for the entire family!

Most kids enjoy the process of setting and meeting objectives, especially if they feel like they have some control over it. Encourage your children to really think about some things they feel they can accomplish in the upcoming year, and then have them write them down somewhere that will be visible to them on a daily basis. For younger children, you might want to use pictures instead of words to represent their goals. Then when these goals are met, reward their efforts and celebrate their accomplishments! Make it fun and help them to see the value in reaching personal goals.

The goals that you and your family set should be both specific and attainable. Avoid generalizations such as “Be a better person” or unlikely undertakings such as “Find homes for all the abandoned animals in the world by March.” The idea is to be able to successfully follow through, so simplicity is essential. This doesn’t mean that you don’t challenge yourselves and each other to aim higher and farther; it just means that there needs to be an element of realism mixed in with your idealism.

When I was young, my mother was the one who taught me about setting goals. Each January she spent a good deal of time reflecting on the previous year and even more time on planning and hoping for the year to come. She would ponder and write about her regrets and then turn them around into ambitions for the months ahead. So while there was recognition of mistakes or shortcomings in the past, she didn’t dwell there. 

There is something about having a clean slate on which to write–a new beginning, a fresh start.  We feel like the possibilities are endless and that we are confident enough and strong enough to seek them out. It’s a wonderful feeling to begin again, to reevaluate our lives and our focus. And making it a family endeavor will strengthen the bonds between you. You might even choose to come up with a family mission or purpose statement for the year, which would emphasize the direction you would like to be heading together.  

You might be reading this at the end of January and are now thinking, “Great. I’ve already blown it, because I haven’t even begun to think about goals for this year, much less act on them.” Don’t fret! There are no rules that say you are only allowed to set goals on New Year’s Day. In fact, it might even be a better practice to set family goals together each month or each season.  Cater it to your own family’s personality and schedule. But whatever you do, give goal-setting (and reaching) a try.

Ideas for Setting Family Goals:

• Planning specific ways to save or spend your money this year
• Taking a trip
• Trying something new
• Assigning house and yard chores
• Treating one another with more love and respect
• Spending more time getting to know neighbors and improving your neighborhood
• Completing at least one service project together
• Recycling
• Tackling a house project
• Organizing a family reunion

Ideas for Setting Kids’ Goals:

• Potty training
• Learning to tie shoes
• Riding a bike without training wheels
• Taking care of a family pet independently
• Reading a certain number of books
• Writing thank-you notes for gifts received throughout the year
• Working to earn money for a special item
• Entering a contest
• Playing a new sport
• Memorizing a poem or passage