Caring for Moms of Newborns

Motherhood takes its toll on women’s bodies, minds, and emotions. And that’s even before the child is actually born! Pregnancy itself can be exciting and miraculous while also being difficult and almost disabling. The upside is that during pregnancy, the baby doesn’t cry; feeding happens continually and without effort by the mother; and mom’s hands are potentially free. Once the baby is born, however, things change. Suddenly mom’s world centers around feedings, diaper changes, rocking/pacing/bouncing with baby, and much sleep deprivation. Most moms liken the first few weeks with a newborn to simply surviving. There isn’t a lot of time for anything else, including showers.

The adjustments to life with a newborn can be incredibly difficult and can catch many women by surprise. As with other life-changes, women need much support during this time, and there are some really practical ways that this can be done.

Brighten Her Day

Whether mom is feeling great, is incredibly hormonal and teary, or is somewhere in between, she can always use some uplifting. Send her an encouraging text or send her a card in the mail. Bring some fresh, colorful flowers for her home. Look for ways to help her laugh! Continue to include her in your life; don’t assume that she’s too busy or no longer interested (But do give her grace in how long it might take her to respond to you.). Drop off her favorite coffee, smoothie, or snack and just give her a hug! And always, always tell her good things about her baby.

Feed Her (and Her Family)

Providing meals for a new mom and her family is an incredible way to relieve a burden. Find out what foods are most liked by them and make a plan to deliver a hot meal to them at dinnertime. Don’t like to cook? Ask for their favorite take-out options and deliver that to them or just call in pizza delivery on their behalf. Other ideas include giving them gift cards for their favorite restaurants; putting together casseroles or other dishes that can be frozen and eaten at a later date; picking up groceries for them; or delivering a basket filled with healthy snacks and assorted fruit. There are some great websites for organizing groups of people in providing meals for a family, so take advantage of those. Mom being able to see that her family will be well-fed for several weeks, without her having to cook the first thing, is a wonderful gift to her!

Give Her a Break

The first weeks with a newborn are constant and taxing. And even if mom is handling it beautifully, she could still use a break from time to time. Even a short one! Offering to come over and watch her baby while she takes a shower, takes a nap, or goes on a walk by herself can give mom a burst of new energy and perspective. Even being able to go to the store by herself, while knowing her baby is being taken care of, can be refreshing. If mom has older kids, offer to take them to the park or to get ice cream, so that she can have some quiet time with just her baby.

Check on Her

Look for ways to encourage mom, but be sure to do so in ways that are good for her. Find out if she prefers scheduled visits or surprise drop-ins. Is she a talker or a texter? Does she like staying home or being out-and-about? Ask her what she needs and ask her to be as honest and specific as possible. Visit with her when you can. Ask her family how they think she’s doing. Watch for signs that she might need additional help (See sidebar.). Above all, don’t stop checking on her after the first two weeks postpartum. There is so much excitement and newness surrounding those first weeks, that mom might not even realize she is struggling until later. Give her space when she needs it, but don’t forget about her.

If you are looking to help or encourage a new mom, you don’t have to do everything listed in this article. Pick one thing and act on it, and she will be grateful!

Postpartum Blues vs. Depression

Compiled by Amy Sewall, BSN, RN and Simulation Specialist at Mississippi College School of Nursing

Many new moms have a difficult time in the first weeks with a newborn. But sometimes they aren’t sure what is normal and what might require additional, professional care. While both postpartum blues and postpartum depression can feel very intense, it is important to understand the differences between them.

POSTPARTUM BLUES

Description

• A self-limiting mood disorder that affects approximately 70% of new moms
• Usually begins during the first week after delivery
• Transient, or temporary (usually lasting two weeks or less)
• Symptoms are unrelated to events and do not affect the mother’s ability to take care of family or infant.

Signs/Symptoms

• Insomnia
• Irritability
• Fatigue
• Crying
• Anxiety

Mom’s Needs

• Support, Support, Support!–both emotionally and physically
• Rest
• Food is fuel for the body, so when mom is feeding baby, she also needs to feed herself, even if it is a small, healthy snack. Healthy foods include fatty fish, dark chocolate, granola, yogurt, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and beans.
• Decrease intake of sugar.
• Lower the bar a little on expectations. It isn’t perfect like you see on TV or Facebook. Give some time to adjust.
• Get out of the house when possible, even if it isn’t for long periods of time.
• Get dressed, even if staying home.
• Let natural sunlight into the home whenever possible.
• Call obstetrician if symptoms worsen; if symptoms last longer than two to two and a half weeks; or if taking care of self, family, or infant has stopped.
• If baby is safe, fed, and clean BUT is still just flat-out grumpy, walk away and get some fresh air.

POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

Description

• Depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue
• Symptoms usually develop within the first few weeks after giving birth but may begin earlier (during pregnancy) or later (up to a year after birth).
• Lasts longer than two weeks

Signs/Symptoms

• Symptoms almost exactly like those of postpartum blues but are more pronounced and longer lasting
• Persistent feelings of doom, sadness, hopelessness
• Social withdrawal
• Aversion to newborn
• Memory fog
• Stops taking care of self, family, or infant

Mom’s Needs

• Mom’s needs are the same as with postpartum blues, but she also needs to call a medical provider ASAP and be completely honest with them about what is going on.
• The provider can rule out other possible issues that could be happening with mom.
• Referral to counselor/therapist
• Medications to help treat the depression, anxiety, or OCD
• Encourage mom to report if her symptoms worsen; she begins to lose touch with reality; she experiences hallucinations/delusions; or she has suicidal/homicidal thoughts. In any of these cases, she should go to the ER immediately. 
• Unchecked postpartum depression could transition to psychosis.