An Education in Life: Taking Advantage of Teachable Moments During the School Years
Not all lessons taught during the school years involve textbooks. And they’re not all taught by teachers in classrooms. In fact, most important lessons are taught by us parents, and we do our teaching at home, in the car, in the bleachers, or wherever we are with our kids. Teachable moments present themselves continually during the school years, and, parents, we need to take advantage of them. Here are some of the more prominent areas that offer such opportunities.
Academics
Our kids need to know that the grades they make in school do not determine who they are in life. While the kids who struggle academically might find great relief in this notion, the same news might actually bring a sense of frustration or despair to the kids who are more naturally self-driven “overachievers.” But I believe that all children can learn the same lesson pertaining to academics and grading systems by answering one question: Are you truly giving your best effort? If the honest answer is “Yes,” then we can praise our children for their efforts, and they can proceed with confidence. If the honest answer is “No,” then we can use the opportunity to ask questions and encourage our children to do what we know they are capable of doing. (Also praise them for being willing to give an honest “No”!)
As for the natural “overachievers” who might never feel the need to question their efforts, the teachable moment here might be to remind them that their identity and worth are not wrapped up in their academic excellence and that it’s good to find ways to relax and have fun when the self-induced pressure is rising.
Whether our children are straight-A students or fluctuating C-D-F students, the most important teachable moments we can seize are the ones where we assure our children that they are dearly loved, no matter what letters appear on the report cards.
Extracurricular Activities
Powerful lessons can be learned by our kids through participating in athletics, choir, band, dance, yearbook staff, visual arts, robotics, debate team, martial arts, ROTC, or a host of other extracurricular activities. If our kids are naturally gifted in one of these areas, we can show our support and encourage those gifts by helping them have the equipment they need, taking them to practices and events, and cheering them on in their endeavors. If they work hard to improve in an area and see the results, we can praise them for their work ethic and for meeting a goal. If they aren’t the best at [fill in the blank] but choose to keep at it anyway, we can applaud their persistence and determination.
These specialized activities also present opportunities for us to teach our kids to be gracious when they win, good sports when they lose, humble when they receive accolades, and teachable when they receive criticism. Learning to work with a variety of leaders and peers, developing personal drive and self-discipline, cultivating communication and leadership skills, and seeking to hone their crafts are additional positive outcomes that can result from participating in extracurricular activities. Parents, let’s not neglect these fantastic opportunities for our kids to learn and grow!
Authority Figures
Learning to identify, respect, and submit to authority figures can be difficult lessons to learn, but the school years are a perfect time to learn them. No doubt our children will be faced with an array of leadership styles through teachers, coaches, administrators, and other school staff members. Here we have opportunities to teach our kids to use respectful words, tones, and body language when addressing authority figures, as well as to know how to question or even disagree with them while still being respectful.
As adults, we are aware that our children will need to know how to navigate relationships with future employers and co-workers, and this is good practice for that. It is important to note that in this area, we must also be proactive in teaching our children how to recognize when people are abusing their positions of authority and how to address those situations.
Relationships
We’ve all experienced the delights, discouragements, and dramatics of relationships with peers throughout the school years. It can be quite the roller coaster ride! And while we cannot shield our children from the complexities and confusion of these relationships, we can look for teachable moments with them along the way. Preparing them to be gracious in differences, teaching them to recognize bullying (from others or from themselves), encouraging kindness and forgiveness, inspiring them to include those who tend to be left out, developing empathy, and sharing stories from our own past relationships are just some of the ways we can help our kids navigate these sometimes turbulent relational waters. At the same time, these are the days when we need to teach our children to know what they believe in, to stand up for themselves when necessary, and to choose friends wisely. Checking in with our kids about their friendships should be ongoing conversations.
Character
All of it–the effort they put into academics, the commitment they give to extracurricular activities, the respect they convey to people in authority, the courtesy they show their peers–is simply proof of our children’s character, who they really are. Parents, let’s not forget the goal in all of these teachable moments! We are constantly working to raise children of integrity and good character to be adults of integrity and good character.
Our kids will have lots of teachers throughout these years, but as parents, we are the teachers with the most impact on our children’s lives. Let’s give them the best education in life that we can.
