The Mixed Emotions of Mother’s Day

Since this is the month of Mother’s Day, I wanted to write something about the greatness of all of our mothers. But as I sat down to write, I couldn’t stop thinking about the hard truth that the second Sunday of May each year may bring about more sadness than celebration for some.

Some have lost their mothers to death. Some have difficult relationships with their mothers. Some have experienced the pain of slowly losing their mothers to dementia or to a debilitating disease. Some have never even known their mothers at all.

Mothers play such a vital role in our lives, so when they are absent, it is strongly felt. I’m sure my thoughts on this are particularly present because of my newly adopted sons. Adoptions all involve loss, and that is painful.

And then there is the other side–when a woman longs to be a mother but isn’t. Mother’s Day can be markedly difficult for these women. For those of us who have never experienced the pain of infertility or the grief over the death of a child, it may be easy to go through this holiday without even considering the sorrow that others may be experiencing.

Please understand that I am not asking us not to celebrate motherhood on this special day. I believe we should fully enjoy all the cards, presents, words, hugs, and special treatment–both giving and receiving–on this day, because motherhood is one of the greatest gifts we can possess in this life. Rejoice in it! But as we celebrate, let’s also be sensitive to those around us for whom Mother’s Day is difficult. Maybe even go out of your way to write them a note or send them flowers or simply say something to them to acknowledge that you know this is a hard day for them. I think it would be a meaningful gesture.

This Mother’s Day, take time to acknowledge the good things that your own mother has given to you or taught you or in some way passed down to you. If your mother is no longer with you, consider thanking other women who have played important roles in your life.

Also spend some time pondering all that you are handing down to your own children during your lifetime. Years from now, when they are reflecting on their childhood, what will they remember most about their mother? It’s never too late to be more intentional about the conversations, the character traits, and the memories that you want to leave with them.

And if you are a mother being celebrated by her family on this day, take some time to revel in that fact! Being a mother is a very big deal! And I pray that you feel both loved and appreciated for all that you are and all that you do for your family.