The Pot and the Kettle

Do as I say, not as I do.

I wish this statement were less descriptive of me. I’ve been a mother for only nine years, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to apologize to my children for my misbehavior, which usually involves losing my patience as well as my temper. As much as I repeat myself to my children, you would think I would hear my own words of instruction.

“Be kind to each other.”

“Patience, please.”

“Stop whining and just talk to me.”

“Don’t snatch.”

“Speak to each other with kindness and respect.”

“Calm down.”

“Don’t be selfish. Think of others before you think of yourself.”

These are just some of the broken-record-phrases uttered to my children on a daily basis, and often they should be uttered to my own reflection in the mirror. It’s so easy to tell my children that they should be kind and respectful to each other, but if I’m the one having a bad day, I find myself feeling entitled to being a bit edgy or pushy. I’m a tired mommy, after all.

Or if I’ve been dealing with sick kids, a messy house, and a phone that hasn’t stopped ringing all day, it’s okay for me to lose my patience with my preschooler who is full of questions. She should be able to see that I don’t have time and am not in the mood for this.

When I’ve had it up to here with lack of obedience and children running underfoot, I shouldn’t have to calm down. They’re the ones that have driven me to this!

And thinking of others before myself? Ha! Does a mother even have any other choice?! I deserve a break and time to pamper myself.

Yes, dishing out advice is far easier than heeding it. Similarly, swelling with pride is much easier than swallowing it, which is what I have to do when I’m caught in the act of behaving like a two-year-old not getting what she wants. Do as I say, not as I do, remember?

Alas, we parents are humans after all. We make mistakes. We say and do things we shouldn’t. We even (gasp!) act like children sometimes. But this just gives us another opportunity to lead by example. As tempting as it is, let’s not excuse or try to cover up our misbehavior to our children; let them see a model for making things right and asking for forgiveness. After all, one of the most popular broken-record-phrases is “Tell him you’re sorry.”

Isn’t it?