Heavy Doors

When my daughter Callie was about 18 months old, we were walking toward a building that had a big, heavy door.  “I do it!,” she exclaimed.  I knew it was too heavy for her, but I wanted her to give it a try.  She was so determined, but it was just too difficult for her.  So without her realizing it, I put my hand toward the top of the door and gently helped her open it.  “I did it!,” she exclaimed with toddler-sized confidence and then proceeded to strut down the hallway.  I smiled at her, but I also rolled my eyes a little bit when she wasn’t looking, because I knew she hadn’t done it on her own.

That’s when I stopped in my tracks.

The thought suddenly occurred to me (I felt convicted, actually.) that this is exactly what I do sometimes!  I am often quick to take the credit for doing something on my own when really there were others there to help me.  Their help may not have been obvious to me, but it was there just the same. 

Whether it is in the form of encouraging words, listening ears, an understanding heart, prayers, or simply a smile, these more subtle forms of assistance and support are so very vital–particularly in the realm of parenthood.  I have yet to meet a mother or father who feels that they need no additional support.  Whether we are married or single parents, we all need the added help and encouragement that can be found in grandparents, friends, church, and other closely-knit groups.  Even just talking to someone who has been through the adventures of parenting can be so helpful.

Our society often praises independence and perceived strength in not having to rely on anyone but yourself.  But the truth is that we do need help.  We need encouragement; we need advice; we need babysitters . . . And that’s okay.  If you don’t already have a support group–you know, like those friends you can call that will speak sanity into your life when you’re about to lose your mind because your toddler continues to pull his diaper off and then pees on the carpet–then you need to find one.  Quickly.  And if you are blessed enough to already have this kind of support, take the time to thank these people for the role they play in your life and the lives of your children.  They are important, and they shouldn’t be taken for granted! 

Don’t let yourself get caught up in the “I do it!” mentality.  Let others help you with those heavy doors.